Monday, October 10, 2011

I'm on my knees again. This time, it is not because I'm too weak to get up. I'm on my knees, because I'm living in a miracle and can't just find ways to thank God enough. There is no word which could be powerful enough, there is no act that would be enough, there is totally nothing that could represent my gratefulness. [ except if I sold everything I've ever had, give my money to charity and start to nurs lepers, though I think I just couldn't do that right now...] 

I  red my last blogpost and things could not be more different now. Life is a miracle, totally. God has answered to my prayers and I'm awed. Things, that I thought they never could be fixed, are slowly clearing out. All strings that had been all mixed up are straighting up because they are on God's hands. If I would try to untangle them, it would be disaster. But I don't have to. Because He has made everything ready. "You prepare table before me in precence of my enemies. My cup runs over." Now I know what does it mean, that my cup overflows. It is full of God's grace, mercy and love. I'm so small before Him, on my knees, I'm not worthy. "What is man, that you think of him? The son of man, that you care for him?" 

You are one and only. I praise you, Almighty. 
You have given me more mercy that I can take
I bow down in front of you
I'm on my knees
I can't look at your face
they are too bright
and still I'm praying 
"Don't hide your face from me." 

I'm no worthy
I'm nothing but ash in front of you
I dont have anything to give
my hands are empty
full of wounds
and I give them to you
if you can
use me
make my jar whole again  
fill me with your presence 
with Holy Spirit, Comforter
I'm giving my all to you Lord
it's barely nothing 
but if you can´t use broken jar
like me
there is no-one to use.

"He wont break bruised reed."